The Benefits of the Family Meal

Sitting down to eat as a family is good for both children and parents. Can you aim for at least five meals together a week? Here's what you can do.

In today’s fast-paced and hectic world, it may seem impossible to get your family together to eat, let alone prepare food satisfying everyone’s tastes. But more than 30 years of research has shown regular family meals offer many benefits, the only activity known to provide all of them at the same time.

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Regular family meals help children learn social skills

Family meals boost a child’s health in several ways. An established routine provides structure and a sense of stability, which can be especially important for adolescents. They may need a supportive environment to talk with their parents — or a good moment to reach out when they’re not wearing headphones.

Even if everything is going fine, you’re all learning how and when to communicate, preparing you for the rough times. 

Studies show that children who regularly have family meals are more “well adjusted.”

The potential benefits include:

• Better academic performance
• Higher self-esteem
• Greater sense of resilience
• Lower risk of substance abuse
• Lower risk of teen pregnancy
• Lower risk of depression
• Lower likelihood of developing eating disorders
• Lower rates of obesity
• Better cardiovascular health in teens
• Bigger vocabulary in preschoolers

Healthier eating patterns in young adults

When it comes to teens, family dinners may be more powerful than attending church. For example, in a study of more than 5,000 Minnesota teens, researchers concluded that regular family dinners were associated with lower rates of suicidal thoughts. Kids who were victims of cyberbullying bounced back faster if they had regular family dinners.

Mealtime can help children establish good eating habits

The family meal can be an effective against obesity. It can teach children portion control, help them develop a taste for home-prepared vegetables and whole grains, and discourage indulging in unhealthy snacks.

Children won’t listen, of course, if you’re not modeling good habits for them.

Consider putting food in bowls or on platters on the table and allowing your children to serve themselves. Guide them to try some of everything, and show them what appropriate portions look like by what you put on your own plate. If you have a picky eater, encourage her to at least try things, but don’t force the issue.

Make it fun

When the family laughs and enjoys mealtimes, one study suggested, children are less likely to be overweight or obese. On the other hand, children who associate family meals with hostility, discipline, or arguing may overeat to compensate.

Consider making topics that cause trouble off limits while eating to strengthen the positive experience around food and meals.

Keep the TV off, and put away cellphones. In one study, American kindergartners who watched TV during dinner were more likely to be overweight by the time they were in third grade. The link between TV-watching during dinner and extra weight also has been reported in Sweden, Finland, and Portugal.

Family meals are good for parents, too

Healthful eating habits bring rewards to parents: You may feel more energetic and upbeat. Beyond that, you get time to connect with your children, spouse, and other residents of your home.

What you can do

You may be worried about your cooking skills or feel too harried or busy to organize a family meal. It may be encouraging to know that even a 20-minute meal can bring good feelings, and you can keep the food simple.

Set goals

Try setting a goal for a certain number of meals together each week, and involve everyone in the family in deciding how often and when. You’ll get better buy-in if everyone has input. Keep in mind that it doesn’t have to be dinner. Maybe getting together for breakfast works better.

Plan ahead

Plan your week’s menu, and, if possible, shop for most of what you’ll need ahead of time. Having a weekly menu takes away some of the stress around figuring out what to fix for dinner.

Develop a repertoire of simple, healthful meals you can make in a short amount of time and rotate them every couple of weeks.

Try a slow cooker, assembling the ingredients the night before. The next morning just put the food into the pot, turn it on low, and dinner will be ready when you get home.

You can also make large batches of tomato sauce, soups, and stews and freeze them for an easy future meal. There are hundreds of books and online resources to help you come up with quick, easy, and nutritious recipes.

Stock your pantry

If you’re not a planner, make sure you have a well-stocked pantry and a variety of frozen meats and vegetables so you can “shop at home” rather than taking time to stop at the grocery store.

An occasional pizza night may also be acceptable; it still counts as a family meal. Just be sure to include a salad or other healthful side dish.

Get everyone involved

Give everyone a job while you’re getting dinner ready. Have the kids set the table or make the salad. Turn off the television and video games, and set a policy of no cellphones during mealtime to encourage conversation.

It can be challenging to launch a new behavior. If you’re starting from zero family meals, aim for two a week. Success will help your family feel good about the new plan.  

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